Having a divorce can be a mentally and emotionally exhausting process. However, there are numerous benefits to an amicable split. A more peaceful split will ensure you and your soon-to-be-ex can manage the divorce without so much fuss. So, what exactly is an amicable divorce?
What is an Amicable Divorce?
An amicable divorce is the same as a no-contest or an uncontested divorce. In as much as this might be hard to believe, such divorces exist. Ideally, an amicable divorce is a civil divorce, where both spouses agree to all the terms and conditions of spousal and child support, custody, property division, and visitation. This type of divorce does not in any way mean that the former spouses are friends after their divorce. It only means that the spouses do not fight over anything and agree on everything peacefully.
After an agreement is reached on the divorce terms, the couple has to file legal forms in the family court to obtain the divorce officially. However, most times, there is a requisite waiting or separation period. The court then approves the final divorce. All the terms agreed upon by the couple are then incorporated in their final decree.
Approaches to an amicable divorce
Couples considering an amicable divorce have various options;
1. Collaborative Divorce
A collaborative divorce is handled out of court, but both spouses retain their lawyers who help with the negotiation process. In a non-amicable divorce, which is handled in court, the judge makes the final decisions for both parties. Although most courts try to make, the spouses agree before litigation. In a collaborative divorce, however, the court is not involved, which is better for the court, the children, and everyone involved.
Here, documents are exchanged without lawyers fighting or arguing for documents in the legal process. This approach is excellent for couples who agree on things without any difficulty. It saves time and money. Moreover, lawyers facilitate all communication between the couple and continue to advise their respective clients. Generally, this type of divorce is for those couples who feel they can peacefully work out their divorce issues and settlement themselves but still need legal representation. Lawyers in charge of collaborative divorces are professionally trained to reach an agreeable win-win settlement instead of win-lose. So both parties are assured of being fairly represented.
2. Mediation Divorce
With the option of mediation, couples resolve their divorce issues out of court with a mediator’s help. In this case, the mediator helps the soon-to-be-divorced couple come up to an amicable agreement on the divorce issues. Ideally, this type of divorce is all about the couple deciding what is best for them and their children with a mediator’s help. The main issues covered include property distribution, child custody and parenting time, child support, retirement, and taxes.
Besides being cost-effective, mediation is also very flexible and confidential. It gives both spouses a way to settle their conflict in a mature way. This is essential if children are involved in the marriage. Mediation can make the couple communicate well for their children’s sake and make their post-divorce relationship work well. The process is entirely voluntary and could take as much time as the couple needs until they decide everything.
3. Do It Yourself (DIY) Divorce
A Do It Yourself (DIY) divorce process works well only if both parties agree to all custody issues, property division and support schedules. This type of divorce does not require a couple to have counsel; they can file papers and seek approval from the court without lawyers. There are forms available online for most courts or at the clerk’s office for couples who have decided to go down this road.
In as much a DIY divorce might seem simple, fast, and cost-effective, it has so many downsides. For instance, the division of property is final, and no changes can be made afterward. Most times, one spouse may not be aware of all the other spouse’s assets, and thus may be left out in the division process. It is for this reason why spouses should involve lawyers to do all the digging for them. Couples who take this path take a severe risk. At a minimum, before settling for a divorce, the couple should meet with an attorney and be advised on the law. Boston Uncontested Divorce suggested, even in an amicable divorce “a lot of things can still go wrong”. Being in agreement is a necessity with a DIY Divorce, but you still want to retain the services of an affordable divorce attorney
4. Therapist Counseling
Therapist counseling is beneficial to a couple, even after they decide to divorce. Therapists can help facilitate an amicable agreement during the divorce process. They come in handy in helping the couple overcome any heated emotions, stress, and anxiety to focus entirely on completing the legal process.
If a couple decides to go to therapy together, they can work on anything they want to resolve. Moreover, they can utilize the therapist to act as some kind of mediator to help them set guidelines to ensure minimal emotional damage and hostility. The therapist can also help solve other issues like financial obligations, parenting responsibilities, and living arrangements before proceeding to a lawyer.
In a world where we are constantly inundated with advice on how to be successful in our careers, relationships, and personal growth, it’s easy to feel like there is no space for one more thing. We’re here to tell you that the most important work of your life might be what you do with yourself. Therapy can help us get closer to ourselves and each other. It can give us new insights into who we are as people that may have been hidden before; or show us things about others that will make them better partners or friends; or teach us ways of interacting differently with those around us which will create new possibilities in all aspects of our lives. The therapeutic process is an opportunity for self-discovery – let’s take advantage
And now the question is: how do I make therapy successful? The answer really boils down to one thing- communication. Communication is key in any relationship and even more so when getting professional help for something as intimate as a marriage. If both partners can work together with their therapist, they will be able to find solutions that work best for them and their family unit or individual needs.”
This blog post discusses how important it is for married couples who are seeking therapy to communicate openly with each other about what they want out
What does an Amicable Divorce Mean?
Regardless of the approach taken, when a divorcing couple commits to developing compromises and solutions that work for both of them, rather than fighting, the legal process runs very smoothly. In the end, both parties can move on more quickly with less pain, time, and effort. A perfect divorce has to involve a professional lawyer; this way, both parties are sure of winning in the divorce as they will approach your case with all considerations and facts and proceed in your best interests.
Types of People Looking for an Amicable Divorce
Divorce has many dimensions, therefore looking at relevant data can help us figure out what socio-economic issues exist. To provide a far better understanding of divorce, here is a compiled list of groups that are most likely to divorce and why.
Couples separate for various reasons, but what are the top factors that influence the likelihood of a divorce?
Too much arguing
Unrealistic expectations within the marriage
Abuse or violence
Lack of equality
Marrying too young
Lack of support
While a person’s job may not be the most crucial factor in deciding whether or not they will divorce, financial stability and general happiness are. The environment at work may also have an impact on whether or not someone gets divorced. With a divorce rate of 52.9 percent, gaming and casino managers have the highest divorce rate in America. Office and Administrative Support is another industry with the highest average divorce rate, 40.61 percent.
- Finances & Revenue
For both men and women, believing that their partner made a financial mistake increased their chances of divorce by 45 percent. In addition, 59 percent of Americans who got divorced in the last five years indicated money was a factor in their divorce.
- Alcoholism and Addiction
Nearly half of marriages where one partner is a heavy drinker ended in divorce. 30 percent of couples with the same drinking habits also divorced. In addition, one partner has an excessive interest in pornographic websites in 56 percent of divorce cases.
Divorce is on the rise among some age groups, such as Baby Boomers and Gen X, while it is on the decline among Millennials. The average age of couples who are separated for the first time is 30 years old. 60 percent of divorces happen between the ages of 25 and 39. Within a decade, 48% of individuals who marry before 18 are likely to divorce. 60 percent of couples between the ages of 20 and 25 will end up separated.
- 50+ divorce
Since the 1990s, the divorce rate among people aged 50 and up has more than doubled. The rate has more than tripled for everyone aged 65 and up. Every year, about 1% of married Americans over the age of 50 divorces. Couples who have been married for two decades make up 55 percent of grey divorces.
Women initiated 69 percent of all divorces, compared to 31 percent for men. This could be because women perceive marriage to be unpleasant and overbearing.
Though men appear to be doing better financially after a divorce, they also have the most health and fitness issues. In addition, men who have been divorced had higher mortality rates, substance abuse, anxiety, and a lack of social support.
- Divorce of Same-Sex Couples
According to 2014 data, same-sex separation is 1.1 percent per year, whereas straight couple separation is 2 percent per year. In addition, lesbian marriages are twice as likely to end in divorce than marriages involving other sex pairings.
- Children of Divorce
Numerous studies show that divorced children are impacted psychologically and emotionally, physically, and intellectually. Individuals whose parents divorced and remarried are more likely to divorce than those whose parents divorced but never remarried. Furthermore, divorced children are half as likely to marry another divorced child. According to studies, daughters of divorced parents have a 60 percent higher probability of separation in marriage than children of non-divorced parents, while boys have a 35 percent higher rate.
Asian Americans have the lowest divorce rate of any group. About 30 percent of women and 27 percent of men of Spanish/Hispanic/Latino heritage will divorce. Caucasian women have a 38% divorce rate, and Caucasian men have a 36% divorce rate at least once in their lives. For 42 percent of black men and women, there has been at least one divorce. Finally, Indigenous Americans face the most significant statistical risk of divorce, with 44 percent of males and 45 percent of women ending multiple marriages.
Significant life events can have an impact on a couple’s likelihood of divorce. These studies have yielded fascinating and shocking information on what groups of people are more likely to divorce and why.